Well, I did it again. I got hit with a challenge (with our adoption), and I responded out of fear instead of faith. Will I ever get it right? I am so, so thankful that God is patient with me and brings me around, but I so long for a time when my initial response to a trial is one of faith and peace. I would so like to replace these responses by listening to my Father's voice.
I can't do it!!
(You can do ALL things through Me; I give you strength.)
But I'm so tired of all of this; I can't keep going.
(Wait on Me. I will renew your strength. You will mount up with wings as an eagle. You will run and not get tired. You will walk and not become weary.)
I'm just afraid.
(I love you. Perfect love casts out fear.)
What if we heard wrong? What if this isn't what You've asked of us?
(Pure and undefiled religion in my sight is this; to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. And anything you do for the least of my brothers, you do it for Me.)
But it's so hard sometimes. And it will probably get harder.
(I am your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, who says to you, "Do not fear, I will help you.")
Can't I just get a break? Can't I just rest?
(Run with endurance the race that is set before you, fixing your eyes on My Son, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.)
He has a word for my every fear, every longing, every anxiety, every whine. I am so thankful that soon after the whining begins, the Word seeps in. And some days, every now and then, my little brain seeks the Word before the whine. Lord, let it happen more often. Let me seek You first every time.
Let me walk in faith and live in joy.
This is my favorite song at the moment. Listen and you'll see why.